Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
