i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
