hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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