so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
