the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Randomize
