he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You are a booty call, not a friend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
