sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
