Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
