He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
