How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
