Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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