I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
