I hope mine doesn't look like that
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
