Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize