Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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