words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize