I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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