No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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