Don't make out with my wife yet
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
