if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i drank out of a bidet.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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