worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
