I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
