I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize