; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
