He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
