i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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