found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
