Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am available for nakedness
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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