Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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