What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
