Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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