my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
