8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
