I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize