I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
