yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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