Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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