happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
