there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
