he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
