Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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