Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
