my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize