Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
