She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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