nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
