guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
