Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
