i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
