I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
