The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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