office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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