Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
