You're completely useless in the revolution.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what day is it and did you see me today?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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