Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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