and you said cock pushups were impossible
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
