Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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