I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
