It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
