In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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