I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
