How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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