My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
smell my finger.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
