Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
