We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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